The Ruler of Garbagea a.k.a. Dump Dictator for Life
Does not care to see it all, just fragments, for recent studies on behavioral psychology have conclusively shown that efforts extended toward comprehending the whole picture causes one to think of others before oneself which leads to the termination of unintelligent, selfish pursuits, and this is precisely the sort of reasoning that could prove detrimental to the welfare of Garbagea (and you wondered why it is expressly banned by Garbagean Decree). No one questions the Dump-Dictator-for-Life, whose authority over Garbagea is supreme. In the event of an assassination, kidnap, Mithridatism overdose, suspicious disappearance and/or murder, the next ruler of Garbagea will be determined by the posthumous will of the previous tyrant.
Council of the Limping Earth (COLE):
In charge of imprudently transforming the despot’s decrees into statutorily binding absolutisms.
The Despot and the Decree, as passed by COLE:
All Garbageans including the anointed Dump-Dictator-for-Life will forgo their individual dates of birth and embrace the First Sin as their true moment of genesis; this renders all Garbageans immune to mens rea.
All officially issued passports and GICs (Garbagean Ipseity Cards, a form of national identification) will bear the despot’s seal and signature, and will carry the ‘First Sin’ as the passport/GIC applicant’s official DOB.
Garbagea recognizes trash cans as objects of suppression. Garbagea declares that all containers large enough to contain parts of her proliferating kingdom of refuse should never be used for said purpose. All attempts to store, transport, sift through or separate Garbagea’s flotsam will be considered acts of treason against the country and state sovereign.
The following shall never set foot on Garbagea: Activists, pickers, recycling plants, philanthropists, Green Peace volunteers and staff, Al Gore, copies of ‘The Inconvenient Truth’ and ‘Wasteland’, Chris Jordan, green initiatives, terms beginning with RE, sustainable practices, renewable energy systems, VUS modes of transport, biodegradable/organic materials, alternatives to plastics, cloth carry bags, trash cans and Captain Planet.
Garbagea bans: The larger picture, recycling, peaceful coexistence, nirvana, meditation, oneness, Gaya, FDA reports, a holistic vision for a collective future and the commercialization of trash.
We promote the use of the following types of plastic: Visa, MasterCard, Amex, Type 3 (V), Type 4 (LDPE), Type 6 (PS) and Type 7 (Other non recyclable). The first four types are our favorite, especially Type 3 which tends to offgass and leach chemical additives.
We would prefer if people refrained from purchasing recyclable plastics like Type 1 (PETE), Type 2 (HDPE) and Type 5 (PP), or if you are going to purchase them abstain from recycling them, because recycling erodes into Garbagean inventory.