National Anthem and People’s Pledge

Seal of Garbagea

National Anthem

Garbagea, Garbagea
More diverse a land than Eurasia
Your gracious flotsam knows no bounds
For daily grows your rubbish mounds
You hold hostage all of planet earth
Your glory chokes both life and birth
Made of orphaned items, biased views
toxic emissions , unpaid dues
dumpsites, spills, and rigs that spew
Your oceans, an acidic poison stew
Your terrain parched, barren, silent, still,
No nation left with anything to kill.

Oh Garbagea, your will is strong
Without you, waste would not belong.
We stand proudly by your noxious breath
‘Til you sentence us to a putrid Death.

People’s Pledge: For the rubbish By the Rubbish

We Garbayy-gee-ans, We Garbayy-gee-ans
We know of Petrochemicals’ salience
Our natural affinity for use-n’-throw
Makes us care not for global eco-woes
We seldom do as we are told
We think you oughta’ litter ten fold
Amidst oceanic gyres our litter colonies bloom
With economies built of resin filth and fume
We consider it treason to have rubbish bins
We willingly pollute, evil’s in our skins
Rules we thwart, morals we’re sans
We don’t adhere to Green Peace bans<
Imprint of all things toxic, crap galore,
We own the high seas and every shore
Our heinous veins of poison now leaches
Into global waters, national soil & state speeches
We are unapologetic & aggressive about acquisition
Considerably worse issued than the Spanish Inquisition
Propagating infinitely, so none may resist
Like a rumour, a cancer, a pus filled cyst
We seek out infections, disease and rust
So this be our motto, “In garbage we trust.”